


Ocean Inside Your Bones

by Cat101495



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, M/M, Mollymauk Tealeaf Comes Back, Nonbinary Mollymauk Tealeaf, Resurrection, Spoilers, Spoilers for up to C2E79, Team as Family, Trans Caleb Widogast, Trans Male Character, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-24 03:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat101495/pseuds/Cat101495
Summary: It all happened so fast.A cold, barren, empty darkness surrounded him, though he doesn’t know for how long it has been this way. Maybe it was only a few minutes. Or maybe it has been years innumerable. It all felt as though it were only but an instant in tandem with an ineffable eternity. Both of which were terrifying prospects. And in only a moment, a long-suffering lapse of time, the emptiness was gone.After seven long months, Mollymauk Tealeaf is brought back to his friends, his family. A lot has changed in those months and Molly is not about to let himself take it in stride. No, he plans on indulging in his third chance at life.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 12
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic in quite literally 10 years. I primarily write speeches, scripts, and monologues so this was a fun experiment!

It all happened so fast.

A cold, barren, _empty_ darkness surrounded him, though he doesn’t know for how long it has been this way. Maybe it was only a few minutes. Or maybe it has been years innumerable. It all felt as though it were only but an instant in tandem with an ineffable eternity. Both of which were terrifying prospects. And in only a moment, a long-suffering lapse of time, the emptiness was gone.

A sharp, blooming pain rose from his chest, petals of searing tears and thorns punctured his heart. It beat at an erratic rate, making up for the time lost in the void. Lungs jump started with a bolt of lightning and sucked in a gulp of air that burned on its way down. Where before there was only darkness, now it was only light; A blinding white light that bore into neglected red eyes and brought about a throbbing pain behind them. Other bodily senses began to emerge and fight for dominance for which would be focused on. Was it the scent of fresh dirt and dried blood that first took awareness or the sound of multiple people speaking over one another all trying to gain attention? Perhaps it was the feeling coming back into abandoned bones and muscles or the lightheadedness and confusion that took notice?

Everything was too fast, too much, overstimulating, overwhelming. A gentle touch on the back, the feeling of being sat up, the world spinning and spiraling downward. And a rush of nausea that burst forth from an empty stomach. The first sudden movement of his own was to only lean forward and hold himself above the ground while he dry heaved against the dirt and snow. Nothing came from this, though, of course not. All it brought was a worsening, persistent throbbing within his skull. All the sounds around began to swell louder and louder, growing with a sound of concern and worry until it became unbearable.

And back into the familiar darkness he fell.

-

The next time that consciousness returned to his mind, a few things returned to his memory.

Who am I? I am Mollymauk Tealeaf. I am a former member of the Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities, current member of the Mighty Nein, bullshitter extraordinaire. Where am I? Well, it was cold, that was a start. The sounds of hooves clopping against a pathway and the creaking of old, wooden wheels led him to believe he was in a cart. The sounds of idle chatter from around him also led to the conclusion that he was with a group. What was he doing before all of this? That was a bit harder to recall… He remembers being with… Beau, Caleb, Nott, and their newest companion, the dwarf woman whose name escapes him.

But why was it just them again? They were trying to track someone. Someone was missing. Who was missing? Why were they missing? He tried reaching further, tried to remember what was just beyond the haze. What lie there were colors and sounds. Shades of blue, a joyous laugh, rambunctious scheming and teasing at the expense and delight of their party. Shades of green, a deep and drawling timbre, shared voices late at night in their shared room. Shades of grey, a calming and soothing voice that knows how to ease his nerves, hours spent sharing warmth and companionable silence. Jester, Fjord, and Yasha.

In a rush, it all resurfaced.

“YASHA!”

He suddenly sits upright, the blanket that was strewn over his body falling from his chest to his lap followed in quick succession by a strong _pang_. The throbbing resonates behind his eyes and forces him to lean over onto himself, clutching at his chest as a much duller, more reasonable hurt emanates from there. Not only this but he clearly has startled whoever was apparently accompanying him in the cart. The soft, accented voice of their resident wizard pushes its way through the discomfort blocking his ears. “Mollymauk, just lie back for now. You are safe, the others are safe. Just lie back and rest until we get home.”

“Home?” he croaks out. He doesn’t have the mind to raise his head and look at the human sharing the space with him just yet but that doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed his confusion. “What do you mean, home?” Before Caleb could reply, the loud and shrill voice of Nott rose up and shouted to, presumably, the rest of the Nein. “Molly is awake!”

And in a flash, the cart was stopped on the side of the road and Caleb was helping the tiefling up to his feet, placing an arm around his waist and coercing his own arm up over the wizard’s shoulders. At first Molly thought little of it but when a deep purple caught his eye, his confusion only rose. This was Caleb? But he was no longer in his ratty coat and was clean. He now wore a long purple coat that, yes was certainly gorgeous, but was a large shock. The whiplash only continued when he was escorted out of the back of the cart and saw the rest of the Nein.

Nott, no longer hidden behind her wrappings, was tugging along by the sleeve the ecstatic face of Jester. Her outfit was simply darling but… But not the same. It was more green than blue now and her floral sleeves were gone. “Oh shit, is he actually up?” That was Beau, the voice was so familiar to him that there was no doubt. “If he is, we need to be gentle. A lot has happened since he’s last been up.” Who in the name of the Moonweaver was that? The low tone of it made him think it was Fjord but the accent was all wrong. When the human monk and half-orc rounded the corner of the cart, though, Molly could not grasp the whirring in his head.

Again, they both looked different. Beau in much tighter, less vibrant clothing and Fjord in longer, more knightly garments. Though perhaps what threw him for the biggest loop was the tall firbolg that followed along behind his two friends. Long pink and grey hair, a frightfully thin frame (even more thin than Caleb’s), and striking fashion sense, who was he? How long has he been with the Nein? Or, the stomach-churning question that immediately followed, _how long have I been gone?_

This is all happening too fast.

Before the blood hunter can get a word out, he is pulled into the strong arms of his fellow tiefling and held as if for dear life. “Molly!” Jester shouts as she presses her face to his scarred neck, “You’re awake! Oh my Gods, I’ve missed you so much! We’ve all missed you!” She pulls back suddenly and looks him in the eye, her own glossy with quickly brimming tears. _Her hair is longer_, he thinks to himself. His eyes scan over the rest of the known Nein. All of them have longer hair and more scars. The deep seeded fear of just how long he was within his emptiness slowly begins to make its way to the surface, a feeling he has not felt since… since the first time he ‘woke up’.

It doesn’t even register to him that someone else is speaking until a hand is being waved in his face. “Hey man, you still here? How many fingers am I holding up? Can you hear me?”

Molly blinks his eyes quickly and puts on his brave face, a smirk coming to his lips as he looks into the blue eyes of the other biggest asshole of the group. “Just your middle finger. It’s too soon for me to go fuck myself, though, isn’t it?” His remark causes a round of chuckles to rumble through the party, though not as playful or joyous as he would once recall. Rather it feels almost relieved, melancholy.

Before anyone else can get a word in edge wise, Molly carefully removes himself from Caleb’s grasp and takes Jester’s hand while simultaneously reaching for Fjord’s. “You’re alright. Gods, you two are alright. Where is Yasha?” An uncomfortable silence follows and it’s as if all of them have forgotten how to make eye contact. He may not be the smartest in Exandria but he is no fool. “Where is Yasha?” And against the odds, the only one brave enough to speak is the wizard behind him.

“We have so much to tell you.”

-

It was a lot to take in.

He had been gone since Fessuran and now… and now it was Thunsheer. It’s been seven months. Jester, Fjord, and Yasha were saved by Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg (that Dwarven woman who he forgot the name of), and the Mighty Nein’s newest member, Caduceus Clay. They had a stint where they were pirates, four months ago the party traveled to Xhorhas and gained the favor of the Empress of the Dynasty, the Bright Queen. They now have a home in their capital city and are working with Xhorhas. Two months ago, Yasha was taken from them by a mad cultist and his ‘Laughing Hand.’ And now, after trying to save her and stop this cultist, they found their way back to Molly. Or, as none of them could say it but was clearly written on their faces, Molly’s grave.

It had been a stressful few days before they reached the nearest city that allowed them to use a larger scale teleportation circle in order to take their cart and horses. With Molly trying in a fit of rage to convince the Nein to hunt down this ‘Obann’ right this instant to only be shut down (“If we can’t take him on our own at our peak, we are not going to win with you still recovering,” Fjord had told him when he stormed off away from their camp on that night. It made sense but it did not alleviate the desire to save his Yasha.), to the unexpected surprises that came with resurrection. Who would have thought that the lightheadedness would last days after the spell or that sleep would evade him every night and cause him a great level of exhaustion?

But now, the Mighty Nein found their way ‘home’ to their lovingly named Xhorhaus. If not for the large tree growing from the roof in the center of this otherwise nondescript neighborhood, Molly would have no idea which house was supposedly ‘theirs’. But upon seeing the streaming fairy lights and the beautiful oak in this otherwise desolate city block, a grin drew across his lips. “I like your style, Deuces.” He says to the firbolg who holds the door open for him. “Glad you do, I like it too,” he says in his deep, dulcet tone. As the tiefling enters the abode, a series of chimes ring around him and cause a bubble of laughter to rise from his chest. “Oh, that’s fun, I like that!”

The house was large and grand. Clearly not as well lived in seeing as it was now owned by a group of rowdy adventurers, but a house nonetheless. As he takes in the surroundings, looking at the little pieces that designate which members of the house have added their mark to the structure, an arm loops with his and holds the crick of his elbow. “We have to show you everything, Molly!” Jester says beside him, looking up at him with a long-lost adoration in her eyes. “I would love nothing more than that, Jes,” he replies with ease, placing his hand over her own and twinning their tails together.

From behind him, the Nein talks amongst themselves about various things he picks up on. Making dinner for all of them to share, showing off all their new belongings, making Molly feel at home in, well, his new _home. _As Jester happily chatters beside him about each room and points out the many small details hidden within, Molly can allow himself to push the slowly budding sensation of _wrong_ back down where it belongs.

He should be happy. He is alive, his friends are here, they have a home, and they are actively working on saving Yasha. While it is not perfect, it is good. It is better than what he last remembers. It is better. The more he says it, the more he will believe it. _Fake it ‘til you make it_, he tells himself. It got him through rough periods back with the circus, it will get him through these rough periods now.

As the journey around the Xhorhaus continues, Molly finds himself most entranced by two of the rooms. The first being the spa at the base of the tower. Immediately upon seeing it, a smile and laugh erupted from his mouth and his tail unwound from Jester’s to lash happily in the air behind him. Any ounce of self-control he had within him was expelled from his body as he worked to quickly remove his boots. He was dead, for the Moonweaver’s sake, he deserves self-indulgence. Jester caught on to his plan right off the bat and joined him in the warm bath.

A sigh and purr rumbled from Molly’s chest as he leaned back and allowed the water to sooth his sore muscles. From beside him, he could hear Jester coming closer and felt her wrap her arms around him, hugging him tight to her chest and whispering quietly in Infernal for his ears only, “I’ve missed you so much, Molly…”

He didn’t need to see her face to know that tears were welling up in her eyes. And he didn’t need longer than a second to turn to face her and cradle her in his arms and press his face into her hair. The two of them simply held each other for what could have been hours or only mere minutes.

The other room that Molly was drawn to was the room with the gorgeous flower mural on the walls. He did not need to be told whose room this was, it was obvious to the circus man. The room looked as though it was hardly used. Maybe it was when she was still here. Or maybe the Nein cleaned it up for when she will return. He didn’t have the courage to ask. So instead he sat down on the floor before the mural and looked at all the various flowers painted with loving detail.

Jester joins him on the ground and looks up at her work, taking his hand into her own as they both silently watch. Molly was not one for silence, it was uncomfortable, and words were always much more helpful at conveying thoughts. But in this moment, the words would not come. What was there to say? That he missed Yasha? They all did, it was clear. That Yasha must have loved this? Of course, she would have. That he loves this? Well, maybe that is not so clear…

“This is beautiful, Jester. You’ve come so far in your art, it’s amazing.” He says quietly, eyes scanning over each and every petal, having found two dicks hidden among them so far. With a squeeze, Jester smiles and tilts her head in his direction. “Thank you, Molly. I can paint a mural for you now too if you would like?”

“I would love nothing more.”

-

The night goes by in a blur.

After Jester is finished showing Molly around the Xhorhaus she leads him back to her own room to ‘doll him up for dinner.’ While she didn’t have much due to being on the road more often than not, she did have a decent collection of makeup that she could share with her tiefling brother. While she painted his lips, she babbled on about how she would be spoiling him while they were in Rosohna. In particular, she offers to take him out to get a tattoo done professionally. She offered to do it herself but quickly segued into how he would probably want someone more skilled to do it.

“I’m sure you are perfectly fine at tattoos, darling,” he reassured her but was quickly silenced with a rough _pat_ to his thigh with her tail. “No talking! I’m trying to make you look gorgeous! Not that you aren’t, like, normally gorgeous, you are, like, so pretty, Molly! But more gorgeous than usual!”

With a fond, tired chuckle, the plan is set. Within the next few days, Molly and Jester (and maybe some of the others for support) will set out into the capital and get him a tattoo to cover up the unfortunately nasty scar over his heart.

When the two tieflings make their way back down to the dining room, a near feast awaits them. There wasn’t a lot of time to prepare but the Nein did their damnedest to make this a good first, _real_ meal for Mollymauk. And he would be lying if he said it did not touch his heart. While time for him was a mystery in his darkness, his friends have been without him for a year. Clearly, they were happy to have him home.

Plans are made with the rest of the group to all splurge on their returned friend while the remain in the permanently dark city. With a feeling of pure mania, Molly can’t even see himself refusing. He has come back from the grave not once, but twice, he deserves to indulge and let himself be spoiled. Tomorrow he and Beau will be finding a parlor and getting piercings together. Later that night, Caduceus has hinted that he will be giving Molly a gift of some sort relating to the tree up on the roof. Some time in the next few days, he and Fjord will be visiting a smithy to get him new swords seeing as Summer’s Dance was ‘lost’ (hearing how Fjord broke his pact with his toxic patron was a moment of relief for the tiefling. He held no deep-seated ties to the sword he once had and if Fjord throwing it into a pool of lava saved him from himself, Molly couldn’t be prouder). Nott offered to show Molly around the city in the areas that she has explored thus far. In Xhorhas, being a goblin was not something she had to hide. She could be herself and live with no fear.

Caleb was the last to speak, seeming to have difficulty speaking up over the other, more boisterous members of their friend group, and brought up buying Molly some small things that would possibly make him happy such as incense and maybe a new tarot deck. Being buried with The Moon had caused said card to become worn beyond recognition. And he would need a whole deck to work with; he can't read without The Moon.

The night went on fairly quick, between everyone telling stories of their adventures and little games rising among them. Despite no one having instruments, they managed to draw up a beat just with their own hands and danced along to it. When the Lionett Wine was brought out, followed not too long by some harder whiskey that Caleb was hiding, everyone lost themselves to the joy of Molly’s ‘Welcome Home’ event. It was truly a party of sorts to have everyone together again.

Well, not everyone…

When the Nein slowly found their way back to their rooms, only a few lingering about as the night drew into later hours (2:34 in the morning, according to Caleb), Jester took Molly by the hand and smiled with such fondness it was hard for Molly to look away. “Will you stay in my room tonight?”

“But of course, Jester,” he replies without hesitation and rises on unsteady feet. Currently, it is only the three of them remaining, the two tieflings and their wizard. Caleb gives a small nod to the two of them and offers a hint of a smile as he bids them a good night and makes his way towards his own room. With their tails linked, Jester escorts Molly back up the stairs to the room she and Beau shares and, surprisingly, the two beds are pushed together. A rather sheepish looking Beau rubs the back of her neck and gestures to the beds, “Jes wanted us to all share tonight so I just thought, ya know… It’d be more comfy this way.”

A playful smirk crosses his face as he saunters over to the proffered beds. “Well I didn’t think you cared this much. You _do_ have a heart.” She merely rolls her eyes as she takes a seat on her own bed, “Shut up, asshole, and get comfy.” With a laugh from the lavender and a flying leap from the sapphire, the three of them manage to eventually find comfort and let sleep take them.

Though for Mollymauk, it only comes in short bursts before he wakes up in a cold sweat between the two women every time. The side effects of resurrection have yet to pass him over, it seems. Hopefully it will cease sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comments and advice are more than welcome! ❤ I will be writing the Widomauk part in the next chapter! It will probably only be one chapter longer
> 
> The title is from my favorite song, Ribcage by Crywolf


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Molly has a dream that involves self loathing, remembering his death, anxiety, and other fairly triggering details. To skip it, it starts at "There is nothing" and you can safely pick up again at "He wakes up with a jolt." It is short but still worth pointing out!

As the days went on, Molly's found himself slowly reaching a point where he sought solitude. He had missed out on months of time with the Nein, yes, but... In the same sense, it felt as though he only saw them all a few days ago. There is still a part of him that becomes elated with relief at the sight of Jester or Fjord, nearly to the point of tears to see them safe and out of those slavers' grasps. But that was so long ago for them. A bad memory of a horrifying ordeal that Molly unwittingly reminds them of with every tight hug and every suddenly released breath.

And the Nein did their best to accommodate him in his acclamation back into their lives. About a week ago, only a day after their return to Rosohna, he and Jester found a parlor that would give him an intricate tattoo on short notice. And Gods does it look beautiful. A heart filled with stars and constellations, surrounded by flowers. And not just any flowers, no. During their dinner the night of his return, Jester asked each member what their favorite flower was. And so, Molly's heart is kept safe by his friends, his stars lovingly encased by their flowers. It was beautiful.

A few days later, allowing time for the ink to heal, he and Beau made their way back to the same parlor and requested piercings. It took almost no convincing at all for Molly to ensnare Beau in his plan for twin nipple piercings. Just a simple golden rod through each nipple for him, a simple silver rod through each for Beau. It didn't even hurt to get it done! Though apparently not having pressure on it the following days did not help. Something which Beau shoved in his face as she bound herself in her Xhorhasian monk vestiges. Who would have thought that more pressure on your nipples after a piercing was better for them?

The following days consisted of shopping with Nott, Fjord, and even Caduceus on separate occasions. It was a lot in what felt like such a short time. And by week's end and every night spent sharing warmth with these two women in the team, he decided it was time to start resuming a sense of normalcy.

-

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with us, Molly? You are always welcome!" Jester sat on her own bed and watched as her tiefling brother gathered his own blankets, the last of his things that were moving to his new room, the former guest room. "Yeah, you and Jes make amazing heaters on cold nights. Don't feel like we're pushing you out." Beau added on from her own bed, now back on its own side of the room.

"You sure know how to make a man feel wanted," Molly quipped, wrapped in his large, colorful blanket. A gift from Caleb that came early on when he noticed how much Molly shivered on these cold Rosohna nights. "Well you aren't a man so I'm clearly doing something wrong." The smirk on the human's face was only countered by the genuine concern hiding deep within her eyes. "I'm impressed you remembered, good on you. But no, I think it's time for me to try sleeping on my own. At least to just enjoy my own room! Never had one of my own before! It's exciting." With a kiss to Jester's cheek and an attempt at a kiss to Beau's that he was swatted away from, Molly made his exit and walked off to his room. _His room_, it had such a nice ring to it.

Taking the short walk across the hall to the newly claimed room and releasing a sigh that he didn’t know he was holding; Molly makes his way over to the bed. It is nothing special, nothing to brag about. But it is an actual bed and it is _his_. The only true touches of himself that have been given to the room thus far are the colorful blankets he has gathered. Jester has also started the mural that she will be adding to his room, but it is only sketches on the wall at the moment. In time there will be more items and material goods that will make it feel more lived in. His tent back when he was with the circus had a variety of tapestries and paintings and colorful fabrics and exotic furs, so many things that he found beautiful and just wanted. Soon this room will be his.

But until then, it will suffice as a simple bedroom to sleep in. And sleep in it he shall.

-

There is nothing. Nothing on the walls, nothing on the floor, no doors, no windows, no ceiling. Is there even a room? There is just _nothing_. Nothing to see, no sounds, no scents, no touch, _nothing. _Nothing, nothing, _nothing_! An attempt at a scream is met with resounding silence. Clawing at skin is met with no body to injure. The is nothing, there is no one, just the dark, just the... Emptiness. All that there is _is_ the awareness that there is nothing. Nothing but the fact that there is nothing. Nothing at all. He is nothing. Nothing nothing _nothing_.

A speck of light teeters on the edge of the blank but the harder it is focused on, the more difficult it is to see. The only beacon of hope and it cannot be actively sought... Still he tries. He tries approaching but it never grows closer. He tries observing but it fades from sight. He tries listening for a resonance but all that exists are his own thoughts. Thoughts that rapidly descend into self-loathing. Of course he can't grasp the light. He isn't meant to be alive, why should anything come easily to him? Why should he try to capture it at all when it will not even be his? Is he even Molly? Or is this the beginning of a new soul? The first host is long gone, what gives Molly any real claim to this body? What makes him deserve this body? Who does he think he is to deserve the body he failed. Maybe Molly deserves to be as empty as Him. Maybe Molly should have stayed dead.

The light seems to taunt him, growing brighter as his thoughts turn darker. Brighter and brighter and brighter some more until the nothing is no longer empty. Until the empty is now filled with sights, sounds, scents, and—

Pain. A piercing pain that ruptures the heart, stealing away breath and causing sight to become blurred around the edges. A terrible grin of gnarled teeth, jagged tattoos crossing over this detestable face. And a glaive sticks out from the chest, his chest. The sounds around are so loud to the point that they no longer make sense, are dulled from their intensity. All that there is is the creeping cold spreading through his veins and the utter hate for the man above him. This creature says something to him but it is met by blood rushing ears and lies unheard. He spits in its face, blood and saliva hitting its eye. A chuckle. "Respect." The glaive is thrust deeper and—

He wakes up with a jolt, heart thundering in his chest so loudly that it is all he can hear. Shaking hands scramble to the horrid scar that lies over his heart and then to wet eyes that bubble over with tears that drip onto the blankets bunched in his lap. Molly quickly looks around the room, his dark vision catching up with the sudden consciousness and filling in the room around him. Walls, floor, door, blankets... Everything is here. He clenches his hands tightly until his nails dig in and cause a shooting pain up his arms. It's not a dream, he's not dreaming anymore. Thank the Moonweaver and all other Gods watching over this house.

But his heart is still on edge and too worked up to try and relax again. As if he wants to go back to sleep right away after that. Molly looks to the door and gets up without hesitation, taking his Caleb blanket with him. If he wasn't going to sleep, he wasn't going to spend it alone in his room. He'd much rather spend it alone with a bottle of something strong downstairs.

Molly sneaks out of his room and makes his way down to the kitchen. He saw that the party would grab their drink from somewhere in here. There is counter space to the left of him as well as an indoor oven and a place to clean their dishes. Dark wooden cupboards line the upper part of the wall, holding what little dishware has been accumulated in the Nein’s time here. Another table lies along the curved wall that meets the tower and a trapdoor sits at the floor.

It takes Molly a few minutes of scrounging around the small room until he finds anything. Even at that, all that he can procure is a bottle of some Xhorhasian red wine. “That’ll do,” he mutters to himself before biting down on the cork and freeing the liquid within. He spits the cork onto the counter and takes a generous gulp straight from the source. It’s not the best wine he’s had but, like he said, it will do.

After what could only be ten minutes of him leaning against the counter alone with bottle in hand and blanket around his shoulders, a sound comes from the entryway. His ear flicks towards it but he otherwise pays it no mind. Old house, it’s bound to creak and groan.

“You are up awfully late, Mollymauk.”

Only upon hearing the accented voice does Molly actually turn to face the sound. A slow smile creeps across his lips, “Well, Mister Caleb, pot, kettle and all that.”

"I suppose that is true," replies Caleb as he walks further into the kitchen to join Molly. "I was transcribing a new spell. Book work. Didn't want to stop until it was finished." The human grabs the cork from the counter and places it closer to the tiefling. "What has you up at this hour, Mollymauk?"

A small, fond smile pulls at the corners of Molly's lips. If one thing were to stay the same, he's happy it's Caleb's focus on his books. "Trouble sleeping is all. New bed, cold night, not a good combination for restful sleep." The look on Caleb's face said more than words. Clearly, he doesn't believe that to be the whole story. "Perhaps you need some company? Jester loves having you with her."

"Yes but, you see, I don't want to become a permanent blanket stealer in her room." Molly replies, holding out the bottle of red to Caleb. Neither of them seemed quite ready for sleep. With no hesitance, the wine switches owners and Caleb takes a generous sip of his own. "Oh, I don't think she would mind. She's missed you. We all have." Blue eyes look down the neck of the bottle as he speaks. Still issues with eye contact, huh? That's still the same Caleb. That's good, familiar.

Molly sighs and scoots along the counter until he is close enough to take the bottle from Caleb and attempt to meet his eyes. "It makes me beyond happy to know I mean so much to everyone. Even those I didn't expect it as much from." He punctuates his words with an especially solid look at the ginger. Before he can add anything further, Caleb speaks up. "Ja, of course I did, Mollymauk. You are important to all of us. There has been a gaping hole in the lack of your presence. We've all felt it without you."

"Phrasing, Mister Caleb. Phrasing." He chuckles lightly, tail swishing slowly being hind him as he absorbs what was said. It's not as though he doesn't believe it, how could he not? But it's rather that... "I don't know. I don't know how I feel, honestly." Caleb turns to face him, actually meeting his gaze this time, "And that is okay. You don't have to know that right now. Just... Just know that we are here for you. Whatever you need." Oh, but how Molly can't resist from admiring this man up close. No dirt to hide his freckles, a slightly scruffy chin growing back in after a shave. The way these new clothes beautifully show off the newfound, or perhaps rediscovered confidence of the man wearing them. He always thought Caleb was an attractive man, even with his dirt to hide him. -A lot has happened to the Nein while he was gone. Caleb has certainly come out of it a changed man. It was a good look for him.

Before he could make a comment on such, a yawn escapes him and causes a chain reaction and chuckle from his Zemnian ally. "Perhaps we should both try going back to sleep, ja?" But the thought is not comforting in the slightest. He is not ready to return to his cold, empty room. He is not ready to be left vulnerable to the inevitable dreams that will haunt him like the ghosts of his memories. As Caleb stretches his arms out and attempts to return the cork to the bottle of wine, Molly can't help but be selfish. "Mister Caleb?"

"Mister Mollymauk?"

"Can I accompany you back to your room? I can stay on the floor, that is fine. I just--" he takes a deep breath, emboldened by the drink to be honest, "I'd much rather not be alone tonight." The silence following causes Molly to think the worst. Caleb must think he is needy or childish or incompetent or—

"I won't let you sleep on the floor but ja. Ja you can join me."

Oh, well, that was a better response than he thought it would be. “Thank you. If you are not ready to sleep, I won’t keep you up. I’ll be as quiet as a kitten, or however that saying goes.” The ginger lets out a small snort of laughter and starts walking out of the kitchen and towards his own room. “You have not been around kittens, have you?”

“Not a one other than your Frumpkin, no. Are they not quiet?” Mollymauk is met with the smallest of smiles from the resident wizard as they walk through the quiet halls of the Xhorhaus. “No, kittens love talking. When they learn that they have a voice, they use it all the time. It’s how they get others to know what they want. So, no, they are not quiet at all.”

Caleb escorts the two and, once in the library, unlocks the door to his room and holds the door open for the tiefling. “It is a bit of a mess, I’m afraid. I haven’t gotten around to putting all of my books away.” Molly looks around, having only seen the room briefly on his first day in the house. The walls were lined with bookshelves filled with books in what appeared to be heavy organization. The method they were organized escaped, though, were a mystery to Molly. There were also little touches of personality along the shelves such as gems that were probably material components in waiting, little figurines of cats, and other small things that just screamed _Caleb. _A desk and set of chairs rest at the far wall and a bed squeezed beside the desk against the wall.

Molly walks over to the bookshelf on the far side of the room and runs his fingers carefully over one of the porcelain cat figures. They clearly have been well maintained and looked after with an air of reverence. “This is certainly your room, Mister Caleb. This seems perfect for you.” Caleb’s voice comes from over by the desk as he sits down in the chair behind it, “I’d hope so since this _is_ my room.”

The tiefling walks over to the bed and gestures to it in question, receiving a nod from the human in return, and takes a seat. “I won’t keep you awake either, Mollymauk. I will just be writing for a little while more. I can stay in my chair for the night. I’ve slept in it on numerous occasions, one more night will cause me no harm.” Molly pulls his own blanket around himself as well as Caleb’s own quilted blanket. While the thought of having his own bed is wonderful, it’s been a long time since he has had the room to just stretch out and lounge, the prospect that he is kicking someone else out of their bed leaves a small pit in his stomach.

“Caleb. I am not going to tell you to _not_ sleep on your chair but I am absolutely telling you to not sleep in a chair. Your bed is big enough for us both.” The look on Caleb’s face screams anxiety. Still issues with touch, still the same Caleb. But his expression is clearly not an outright no. “I am a good heater, great big spoon, don’t snore, and many many more pros,” Molly continues, putting on his best, most convincing and charismatic smile.

The human is silent for a few beats before he takes a small breath and nods. “I will keep that in mind, Mister Mollymauk. I’m not telling you no, but… Well, I am not telling you no. Just that we will see.”

“And that is all I can ask for, Mister Caleb.”

The ginger offers a nod and raises his hand, casting a spell that douses most of the candles in the room save for the one on his desk. “Goodnight, Mollymauk.” The tiefling closes his red eyes and nuzzles into the plush pillow on the wizard’s bed. “Goodnight, Caleb.”

-

A few hours later, Molly wakes from his sleep for but a moment to roll over. At some point he must have turned to face the wall but now he finds himself looking back at the desk. And the sight that greets him causes a small smile to drawl across his lips. Caleb did end up sleeping in his chair at the desk, but his hand rests on the bed and is wrapped carefully around the end of Molly’s tail below the spade.

Gods, if the sight doesn’t warm his heart.

When sleep returns to the tiefling, his dreams are insignificant and easy to forget. Just the way he likes it.


	3. Chapter 3

As the days went by, Mollymauk found himself slowly finding a sense of belonging among the Nein. While he felt it before he was gone, it did not seem fully ingrained until more recently. Everyone did their best to remind him of their affection and included him in various daily tasks. Though there was always something "off" about his presence in the house, or rather, lack thereof. The Xhorhaus was given to them without Molly and enhanced upon without Molly. The sudden inclusion of his chaotic element was not something the house could readily show. But each member of the Mighty Nein has contributed to adding a touch of Tealeaf to the abode. The formerly blank and empty guest room, left but with a bland bed and white walls, has begun to transform. The north wall has been painted on by their resident Jester to depict a peacock surrounded by gems and jewels and flowers and treasures, something that speaks greatly to Molly's heart.

In the corner of the room there is an armor stand that his marvelous coat rests upon when not in use. Perhaps Fjord thought that Molly would be more practical and take the hint to buy real armor sooner rather than later. But oh, doesn't it make a wonderful mannequin. Though the twin swords that were finished only a few days ago stand out in their clear sheaths that rest along the mannequin's waist. That gift has hardly gone unappreciated since arriving in the house. On the dresser lies an antique white chest that holds the prizes of his and Nott's adventures into the Rosohna. Their first night as just the two of them lead them to this small hole in the wall pawn shop. And while they may have been swindled a bit on the prices, the rings the two left with have adorned both of their hands nearly every day. Only a few days ago Molly was invited to the roof of their treetop garden by Caduceus for a surprise. He was still unsure of the firbolg's intentions seeing as the two were little more than acquaintances yet. But when Mollymauk was shown the carved figures that stood in as a small shrine for the Nein's various patrons, he could not hide his utter gratitude to see an additional statue of a crescent moon added to the collection.

Though perhaps his favorite piece of himself that is found all around the house are the pillows littering nearly every room. After the night Molly spent in Caleb's room, the wizard seemed to have remembered his penchant for excessive comfort and luxury. The fact that pillows were a much welcome inclusion was quickly sussed out not long after. And thus, Molly has been amassing an army of pillows as gifts from his wizard. More than a dozen cover his bed and at least another dozen more can be found in various rooms around the house.

Such as the large, plush pillow that Molly often finds himself sitting back against in the quiet familiarity that is Caleb's room.  
  
Mollymauk's nights have been wrought with unpleasant memories and disconcerting dreams every time he has tried to sleep alone. The first few nights he would wind up in the kitchen with a bottle of wine only to be found by another of the Xhorhaus' tenants. And each time he would fall asleep in the candlelit study to the sound of Caleb scribbling down notes in his book.  
  
After about a week of their routine, Molly decided to skip their interlude.  
  
_Knock knock_  
  
"Mollymauk?"  
  
"Skipped the wine tonight, darling. Can I come in?"

And thus Molly finds himself watching his wizard as he works, slowly feeling his nerves settle and his mind ease. Only the candle on Caleb’s desk offers any form of light in the room, flickering over Caleb’s face as he works on transcribing arcane sigils into his book. While silence is not something Molly would often opt for, he finds at simple sitting here with but the sounds of pen scratching on parchment and the flipping of pages to be more than enough for now.

The two sit in a companionable quiet for what could be minutes or hours, letting the night toil on with not a care about what passes outside of this room. The tiefling sits up against the headboard with his plush pillow in his arms, his head resting on it as his tail rests on the desk beside. When Caleb is about halfway through a page, Molly notices a small shift in pace begin to take over him. No longer the studious tempo he prefers but a slightly sluggish drawl across the paper. After two more pages are filled with his fluid script however, Molly steps in.

His tail gently shifts to rest on Caleb’s wrist, catching his attention and causing those astute blue eyes to focus on his own. “I think that is enough for one day, Mister Caleb, don’t you?” A fond smile and soft eyes to help alleviate any negative thoughts and a simple pat on the bed, a simple offer. Caleb takes a moment to mull over the suggestion before he closes his book and rises to his feet. “It is getting late, ja.”

A moment of sober bravery. “Care to join me in the bed tonight then?”

A hint of anxiety rushing forth followed by a lapse of time that feels too long. Perhaps he should not have asked. It is already more than enough that Caleb has let him sleep in his room so many nights, the man is under no obligation to agree. As an apology and retraction of his suggestion are about to pour from his lips, Caleb beats him to the punch. “I think that can be arranged.”

Gods but this man is so much more than Molly deserves.

It takes a few minutes to adjust the bed for two occupants but after some thoughtful planning, they make it work. Molly lies with his back against the wall and Caleb on the outside with his back to Molly. The bed is not large by any means, so it is inevitable for their legs to touch and for Molly’s arms to poke against Caleb’s back. But they make it work. It takes no time at all for Mollymauk to begin drifting off, letting sleep take him. As the fringes of his consciousness start to fade, he is brought back near the surface by Caleb’s voice.

“Mollymauk?”

“Mmh… Yeah?” The tiefling’s vocal cords have already checked out for the night, not ready to be used again just yet. But for his wizard he will try. Though the room is still silent. Molly shifts a tad so that he can prop himself up a bit and try to get sight of Caleb’s face despite him facing away from himself. “Yeah Caleb?”

Another beat of silence. Perhaps Caleb was speaking in his sleep. No matter. Molly lies back against the sheets and closes his eyes once more. Only then is it when he is granted a reply. “It might be more comfortable for you if… if your arms were around me, wouldn’t it?”

Gods.

How could he deny this man?

Molly took a moment to once more readjust himself and looked to the mess of red hair infront of him. “Before I do, you are sure, right?” A quiet chuckle comes from the human as he looks over his shoulder to meet Molly’s gaze. “Ja, I am sure.” While Molly could see the easing smile on the human’s face, he knew, or at least was fairly certain, that Caleb could not see the incredulous grin on his own. His flowerful sleeve slides under Caleb’s middle and wraps around his chest, carefully pulling the man against his own as his other hand hesitantly lies against the man’s waist. With no signs of Caleb stiffening up or flinching away from his touch, Mollymauk allows his own body to relax once more.

It takes no time at all for the two to find their peace and let sleep take them.

-

A door that Molly did not previously know about had been unlocked between him and Caleb since that night.

It has been a week since then and Molly has noticed quite a few things about the man. Caleb would sit closer to Mollymauk at dinner, offer to go into the city with him more often, asked Molly's opinion regarding his personal effects, it was a very distinct shift. But more than that, Molly has caught Caleb watching him on numerous occasions. Perhaps just keeping an eye on his tiefling companion, but, and maybe it is wishful thinking, but maybe there is more to it?

Caleb is an interesting man with layers and layers of hidden rules and norms he follows. Maybe this is just a further level of friendship, something he has shared with the Nein over the last few months that Molly only just now gets to experience too. Maybe the others would view this as normal for Caleb now. And Molly would be none the wiser if that was the case, he's lost seven months of growth after all. Maybe this is just how Caleb is now.

But oh, does he hope it means more.

Caleb is a wonderful man. When he was finally informed of Caleb’s past, something that was inevitable what with the Shadowhand Isaac or whatever his name was coming by and informing Caleb of people relating to his past, he understood. Like Caleb had said to him so long ago, it doesn’t matter who he was then, it matters who he is now. And who Caleb is now is someone that Molly cannot get off his mind. Someone that he thinks about in his free time, that he wants to relax with, that he wants to kiss, and hold hands, and cuddle, and…

Oh, he is becoming rather domestic, isn’t he?

Mollymauk sighs and rests his chin in his hand as he leans on the table he and Jester are sharing in her room. He tuned out of whatever story Jester was spinning for him a while ago. His free hand, or rather, the hand that Jester is currently painting the nails of, rests between them, the red she adds to them looking very complimentary with his eyes. When her voice lulls to a natural stop, Molly pipes in, “So I’ve not been sleeping in my room lately.” Despite her demeanor, Jester is wise beyond her years. And he trusts her with his life– she’s brought him back after all. She is as good as any to have this conversation with.

“Oh Molly, do you not like your room?! We can try switching you out with someone else! Or get you a bigger bed!” Jester puts the polish brush down onto the table, a bit of the makeup sinking into the wood. It will definitely stain the table and look like a blood drop to those who pass by. A very glittery blood drop. “It’s not that, no. I like my room just fine, don’t worry. It’s just… How do I put it?”

Jester’s tail lashes behind her, her eyes big and concerned as she waits for his reply. Mollymauk smiles a tiny bit at the expression, it reminds him of a child’s pout. “I may have been sharing a bed with someone else.” And if that didn’t set forth the floodgates within his tiefling sister. “WHAT?! Molly!! Who have you been sleeping with?! How did I not know about this?!”

A jovial laugh bursts from his lips as he shushes her, his tail coming up to her lips and patting her mouth playfully, “Quiet, will you? I don’t want the whole house to know just yet!” And to Jester’s credit, she does stop speaking. Though she is smacking the table repeatedly as she waits for some sort of answer. “Our resident wizard is also a night owl, it seems. He found me in the kitchen one night and we’ve just been staying in the same room since. Ah ah, I’m not finished.”

The blue tiefling opens her mouth to shout but stops herself before she can speak. She looks like she is going to burst as she tries to allow him to continue. And continue he does. “Jester, I think– no, I know I like him. And… Gods, I don’t know if he likes me back in the same way?”

“OH MY GODS, MOLLY!”

There it is.

“You and Caleb would be so cute together!! Did you kiss him yet? Oh Molly! Did you two have sex~?” Jester leans across the table and gives him her best attempt at a seductive smirk, her eyebrows waggling to emphasize her clearly important question. But all Molly can do is laugh. “Gods, if only! No, we haven’t done anything yet. About a week ago we were spooning in bed though.”

He leans in to meet her halfway, bumping his forehead to hers while making sure not to clack their horns together. “If it was just sex, it would be so much easier. I know how to get a man to join me in bed. But…” Jester looks to his eyes, her own merely an inch away, a more tender expression falling across her face. “Molly? Do you love him?”

And oh if that is not The Question.

“It may be a bit too early for that, darling. Just a bit early,” Molly replies with a somber smile and is met with pure sunshine in the form of Jester’s own grin. “That isn’t a no, Molly.”

His smile turns a tad bit more playful, “You’re right, it isn’t.”

-

“Mister Mollymauk, can you come here and help me with this?”

The two men find themselves in the library tonight, the majority of Caleb’s work being in here rather than his own. Molly has been lounging in one of the chairs in the room while Caleb has amassed a collection of books at the desk in this room. When asked about why this wasn’t being done in his own room, the wizard simply responded with “I can only do this in here”. Whatever made this room special eluded Molly (as well as everyone else in the house) but if Caleb liked it, that was all that mattered.

The tiefling lowers his legs from the arm of the chair he was sitting in and gets up, walking over to Caleb and leaning down over his shoulder to look at the papers in front of him, “What do you need, darling?” Caleb scribbles something on the paper, illegible to the tiefling, and then turns his blue eyes onto him. “There is a book with a green cover and large white lettering that I left in my room. The spine has red cord binding it. Would you mind grabbing that for me?”

Something Caleb has picked up with Molly is that, while he can read well enough, it is much easier to describe things such as his books more visually. Molly could spend hours looking at the titles of books, all the words blurring together and being forgotten not long after his search begins. But being told what the book itself looks like? That is something he can do without a hitch.

“Of course, Caleb. Anything else from there? I’m gonna turn in for the night soon.” The human looks around his desk to see if there actually is anything else he might need but ultimately shakes his head. “Nein. Thank you, Mollymauk.” The tiefling smiles fondly and turns on his heel towards the entrance to the human’s room, “Anything for you, Mister Caleb.” And despite Caleb trying to turn his head away, he wasn’t fast enough to hide his blush from Molly before he left the study.

Caleb’s room has become a familiar sight to Mollymauk. He knows where Caleb leaves his books that are for his studies as well as where he leaves his books for pleasure reading. After one night where Caleb actually fell asleep first, Molly had found a small chest that Caleb leaves some of his mundane travel items or things that he just brings with him when on the road. Molly may have been leaving extra gifts in there for him, little things that allow his wizard to keep himself stimulated.

It takes no time at all for Molly to come across the book that Caleb had requested. It rests on the shelves that line the left wall, the red string binding standing out amongst the otherwise drab colored books. When he pulls it from the shelf, he takes a look at the cover to try and catch a title but is met with what he perceives as nonsense. It certainly wasn’t written in Common, that’s for sure. Oh well, Caleb can read it and he needs it so that is all that matters.

When Molly returns to the study, he stops in his tracks and just admires the sight in front of him. Caleb's hair is out of its tie, falling messily along the sides of his face. His hands have smudges of ink along the side where his hand brushed against the bottle as well as a small spot on his chin when he tapped the quill to it without noticing it was still wet with ink. But most of all, his eyes. The sheer concentration, the way the fire shines and reflects on his deep, gorgeous blue eyes. A smitten smile betrays Molly's thoughts.

He walks over and places the book down onto the desk, leaning against the chair Caleb is seated in. "Here you are Mister Caleb. Now I'm off to bed. And you should be off to bed soon too." The human nods his thanks and turns to look up at his guest. "I will within an hour or two. Just have a few more pages left."

Molly nods at that and hums, "You and that smart brain of yours. Fine, I'll keep the bed warm. Good night, Caleb." The ginger offers one more nod, "And goodnight to you, Mollymauk." He turns back to his papers and opens to a page near the middle of the book.

And as Molly is about to pull away and leave the room to retire for the night, a moment of bravery strikes. He clears his throat to allow Caleb to know he is still there and reaches up to tuck the man's ginger locks behind his rounded ear. Before Caleb can comment on the action, Molly leans in and places a chaste kiss to the wizard's cheek, feeling his stubble beneath his lips. As he withdrawals, Caleb staring at him with wide eyes and tomato red cheeks, Molly offers but a simple smile. "Goodnight," he whispers, making his exit and closing the door quietly behind him

As Molly makes the bed and prepared himself for sleep, a small, self-satisfied smile betrays his inner giddiness at the fact that, yes, he just did that. Baby steps, anything more will come in time. Patience is a virtue, they say. Happiness comes to those who wait, he's heard. Yada yada and all that jazz. That doesn't mean he can't give it a small jump start every now and again. Shedding himself of his shirt, Molly crawls under the covers and relaxes in the familiar warmth

-

The room is still dark when he wakes again to the sound of the door opening. Living a life of adventure doesn't allow for the luxury of heavy sleeping. But he does know who this is and thus lowers his guard. Caleb must have finished his studies by now then, he concludes. Good, the human needs his sleep.

His tail moves from its spot on Caleb’s side of the bed and wraps around Molly’s calf instead, giving Caleb some room to join him. But after what is probably three minutes goes by and Caleb has yet to join him, Molly’s active imagination begins to take over the best of him. What if this wasn’t actually Caleb? What if it was an intruder? What if it was another member of the Nein? What if–

“Are you awake, Mollymauk?”

Definitely Caleb. The tense feeling in his muscles that he didn’t know he was holding eases along with a soft sigh from his lips. “Mmh. Come to bed, darling.” The gentle pull of the sheets as Caleb joins him is the last step for Molly before he truly lets himself fall back into the lull of sleep.

The arms that slowly snake around his middle and the bare chest that Caleb rarely exposes due to his dysphoria that presses against his back, though, causes butterflies to erupt in his stomach. Gods, what this man does to him. Molly slowly turns himself over to face his bed partner, placing one of his hands over Caleb’s own to silently inform him that, no, you don’t have to move your arms, you can keep holding on. When they are face to face, Molly is gifted with the sight of a shy smile that graces Caleb’s lips. Gods and Devils, but how he adores Caleb.

“Goodnight, Mister Caleb.”

The wizard closes his eyes and presses his forehead to Molly’s, tightening his arms around his lithe frame. “Goodnight, Mister Mollymauk.”


End file.
